So last night, I was supposed to be working so I had no New Years Eve plans. I called Dorothy, but she was going to New York with her boyfriend to see a friend. Omar was working, as the delightful doorman that he is, at his bar in Hamilton. Now, I thought about calling up a handful of others to do something, but the mood just didn't strike me enough.
I rang in the new year reading a novel (Shadow of the Giant by Card). I lit some candles, cracked open a bottle of wine, turned on the fake fireplace, played some orchestral music and just read. I kept thinking the whole time that I was 'settling my home'... I don't think I ever got to really spend any time like that with it since I've got here. Despite being alone, it felt really good... and I think I really needed to do it. I did turn on the television, however to see the ball drop in Time Square... it felt like a necessity. They quickly started talking to horrible rap artists with nothing to say, a band called ADI who sounded worse than death and a whole bunch of other ignorant yokels. So, the television watching was short lived, but that's just how I like it. Stayed up to 3am talking on messenger, and there you have it.
So, I felt good for 'listening' to myself. I must admit that this is still a very hard thing to do for me, but I'm trying to not block myself out. Yesterday I played a game of poker, and worked my way up to 2nd place... I went all in as a 'what the hell, I'm already outstacked' and I lost. I had a feeling, but I thought I was being stupid. Still need to be able to trust those feelings. I think it's something you can never get to 100% with (without going a bit loopy), but something that is set to help you strive towards something.
Anyway, it's noon already and I'm excited to see what 2007 will bring. I have no plans on the docket, but I think I'll just go where my heart takes me. Oooooh... I just had this feeling like I should go to a coffee shop... isn't this 'listening' exciting?
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